Poker Articles

How to play Texas Hold'em, badly

I've come to a conclusion. Either I'm better than I think I am, or, I'm worse. I'm hoping it's the former. Only time will tell. Or, maybe you can tell me, after you read this. In any case, as I'm sure most of you know, I've been playing in several tournaments lately. All live, for reasons I've previously discussed, either here, or elsewhere. A couple of recent hands should illustrate Phil Hellmuth's favorite maxim, "What were you thinking?"

But first, I want to say that I don't like bad beat stories. They all come down to the same conclusion, and end with the question, "What could I have done differently?" The answer to this question is either, move all in pre-flop, OR, fold immediately. Of course, you can't predict your bad beats, however, you can stop them from happening in the first place. The only way to do this, is by either method above. Now, if you want a good beat, which should be the logical opposite of a bad one, then you can ignore this advice.

Most of the following hands either occurred at the Poker'n'Ponies No Limit Tournament held every Tuesday and Friday afternoons at Hollywood Park, or, the Nooner Tournaments at The Bicycle Casino in Bell Gardens, CA. I'd provide a link to these sites, however, they don't sponsor me or the site you're currently accessing, so, you'll have to find them on your own.

I was dealt 46 suited under the gun. 7 players remained at this table, and I think the blinds were 3000/6000 at that point, with a 1000 ante. I'm the chip leader. What action would you take? I moved all in, on a blind steal. Not expecting the short stack across from me in seat 8 to call with Ace Jack offsuit. However, he did. The flop comes down Jack six blank as I shrug. The turn came four of clubs, and the river was a blank, so, I survived.

Ok, bad example, so, let's move on. I have pocket 5's, or the speed limit as Vince Van Patten likes to call them, in the Big Blind. If I haven't told you this before, I like to play the Big Blind, well, blind. So, when everyone including the small blind, limped in, I looked at the dealer and said, "Deal!" as if I had just successfully negotiated a contract. Now, I should've known that I was in trouble after the flop came down 456 with two diamonds. However, after I checked in the dark out of turn, it checked around to the button, who moved all in. Small Blind folds, and I finally look at my cards. Seeing my set, and trying not to give off every tell on the planet, I tank. And act. After all, I am an actor, so, I get to act. I take a quick count of his stack, and I call, as I have him covered. He shows 78 of diamonds, and I'm effectively hosed. The turn and river are no help, however, he did manage to catch his flush, not that he needed it.

Having been slightly short stacked at this point, my play changed. For the worse. I managed to find another situation where I could double someone else up, and I took it. I don't remember the specifics of the hand, however, what I do remember is that it involved me betting too much money on pocket deuces. I have to teach myself patience, I think. The only way to do that, is to continue to play. So, I did. I had yet another variation of a "Mr. All In" guy at my table, and he did of course, go all in. I had an excellent read on him at this point, knowing that he'd do that with big pairs. Now, all the books, advice, and opinions that I've read state the best hand to go against large pocket pairs is, midrange suited connectors. Which I had. I think I was looking for an excuse to go home at this point, as he had my money covered. "I call." He flips a pair of jacks. After the flop, I've paired, however, none of my suit shows, so, after the river, I was afforded the opportunity of taking the long drive home. I didn't even make it to the second color up.

So, what have we learned? Well, I've come to the conclusion that I wasn't playing my game.

For various reasons, I allowed others at MY table to control the flow, dictate the action, and roll over the other players. One guy at one point was even keeping track of who busted whomever out. This affected me the most. I won't let this happen again, as, I'm not Phil Hellmuth. Because the next time someone at the poker table asks me, "What were you thinking?" The answer will always be, "I thought I could win."

72 and sunny in Redondo Beach.

See you next time.

"Matches Malone"

Editor's note: Matches Malone has been writing for us for a couple years
now, and you can read his blog notes at @ PokerAllStar.com